Flash fiction

Hey there,

While still in school, my friend and I (Hey, John!) went to the Aran Islands by ourselves for Halloween.

Nowadays, you’d be arrested if you let your children go alone to a group of islands off the west coast of Ireland, but back in the “good old days,” it was fine.

Actually, around that time, myself and John wrote some poetry, so possibly we were *sent* to the Aran Islands to make us stop.

Who can say?

Anyway. Everyone got into the Halloween spirit.

Either you put on a mask and dressed up, or you left your door open to provide tea and biscuits to masked weirdos.

Because the island is so small, everyone knew everyone else – except me and John, and a few others – so once you masked up, you had to keep your mouth shut.

Saying, “I’d love a custard cream, thanks, Dermot,” would give you away.

Walking into town past groups of horribly made-up and completely silent people was great fun.

And very spooky.

Which is what I have for you today, with two video recommendations!

The Humans is a slow, nebulously oppressive comedy drama.

When Brigid and Richard move into their first flat, they invite Brigid’s family over to celebrate Thanksgiving.

This won’t be for everyone.

It’s verrry slow, and nothing happens, but the characters, dialogue, cinematography – and the dreadful, dreadful flat – are all excellent.

I loved it.

Check out The Humans here.

My second recommendation is a short film on YouTube, so you’ve no excuse not to watch it.

A man’s love for Whose Line Is It Anyway and The Mask takes him to a dark place…

Grab a cup of something, and your comfort blanket, for The Mask!

Chat soon!
Morgan

Read more - and get two free ebooks - here: morgandelaney.info/newsletter.

a Twitter-rated story

Hey there,

I don’t know how you do it, but the way I dry myself after a shower reminds me of Elon.

Musk, you know?

I might have to stop taking showers for the sake of my sanity.

Unless you can spot where I’m going wrong and advise on what I should do instead?

(A sentence you’ll never hear Elon say.)

Let’s run through the scenario together.

Your hero – me – turns on the water and gets into the shower.

He washes himself.

A slow, smoky saxophone starts to play.

He turns off the water.

Gets out of the shower, causing the pigeons looking through the window to coo and trill.

He grabs a big emerald-green towel. Pats his face and hair to dry them.

The saxophone speeds up, becomes urgent.

He raises his right arm up in the air to dry his armpit.

Thinks, “Doing this makes me look like Elon.”

Drops his arm and turns to see the pigeons flying away in disgust.

The saxophone solo turns into a kazoo raspberry.

I can see only two bright spots.

First, if I give up showers, I’ll save water for the environment.

Second, just thinking about Elon won’t cause him to magically appear.

Which is not the case for graverobbers Aicke and Bowen.

They can never forget they work for Sionnóra, the Fairy Queen, but have to avoid doing anything that might draw Her attention.

Even thinking about Her can be dangerous.

Find out how to escape a fairy queen without thinking about Her, in A Grave & Dreadful Business here!

Chat soon!
Morgan

Read more - and get two free ebooks - here: morgandelaney.info/newsletter.

My latest book is a historical fantasy horror mystery mashup, and it’s out now!

Bury them. Sell them. Lose them.
You can’t keep a good body down.

It’s 18th century Dublin, and the quiet Thaddeus Aicke, and hopelessly optimistic Cuno Bowen, can only find work in a graveyard. Selling bodies to unscrupulous anatomists.
Until the night dark fairy magic accidentally returns a dead girl to life…

They enlist the giant Doyal and the resourceful Madame Furey to help them scour the streets. They can’t let anyone else find the missing body. Not their best client, the dead girl’s father.
Certainly not the terrifying Fairy Queen.

But they’re confronted only by criminals, police, and suspicious family members of the deceased on the rain-drenched streets. With a little luck, they can talk their way out of trouble. If things get physical, they have their spades.
But they should be fine. Grand. Unless the Fairy Queen learns they’ve been selling the bodies she spent centuries collecting…

With a week before she returns, time is running out for them to discover where the dead girl went.
If they don’t want to join her.

Get it here now: https://books2read.com/GraveAndDreadful

(yes, please)

Hey there,
The pain in my shoulder is gone.
Iʼll have to tackle my ears next.

Close to our flat is a fancy ice-cream shop called Cone Culture.
They do flavours like Honey Lavender, Orange & Cloves, and Blue Cheese ice-cream.
Iʼm boring about ice-cream, so we usually go elsewhere.
(Favourite flavour at the moment: amarena cherry.)
Iʼve tried their Orange & Cloves, and itʼs good.
The problem starts when you want two scoops.
Good luck finding something that goes well with Blue Cheese.
Other than garlic.
Yes, they have garlic ice-cream.

Not that Iʼm against crazy combinations.
Walking back from the hospital after getting my shoulder checked, a group of people were dithering outside Cone Culture.
And I swear I heard the lady at the ice-cream window say, “Sausage and Cocaine?ˮ

Obviously, she didnʼt.
I stopped to check.
It was just my ears playing tricks on me again.
Damn you, ears!
Iʼve had them checked before, and the doctor said my ears are fine.
Itʼs my head thatʼs the problem.
Cheeky bugger.
But sausage and cocaine is a combination I could really get behind.

And Iʼm not the only one into strange mixes.
My latest book A Grave & Dreadful Business reached number 28 in the Humorous Dark Comedy charts during its first weekend after release.
People must be into historical fantasy horror mystery mashups.
Huge thanks to everyone who already bought it!
If you havenʼt already, you can still grab it here!
Meanwhile, Iʼm going to treat myself to some sausage and… well.
Beans, probably.
Chat soon!
Morgan

Read more - and get two free ebooks - here: morgandelaney.info/newsletter.

And this weekend only for the special launch price of $2.99!

Grab this historical fantasy horror mystery mashup here: https://amzn.to/4mEAPRV

“…the distasteful side of being the Chosen One…”

In this week’s flash fiction video, meet the Chosen One of Crustmoor Lodge.

Not your typical hero…

Check it out on YouTube here!