Flash fiction

Have you ever thought about mind control?

Because this week I realised I have none.

As Georgia prepares to leave spring behind, we’ve had huge changes in the weather from day to day.

Which means migraine headaches for Morgan. On Thursday, they were terrible. Because I got them at night, and my mind, it seems, couldn’t get enough of them.

I spent most of the night in a doze, at the mercy of my own mind.

Here’s a reconstruction of the crime scene:

Let’s say I was dreaming a duck was hammering railway spikes into my brain.

I’d start to drift awake to go get a paracetamol.

So, to stop me getting a paracetamol, my mind would change the dream so the duck was hammering melted chocolate into my brain. Softer, you see?

To make me think the pain wasn’t as bad, and my gullible brain would drift off again.

But the pain wasn’t getting better. So I’d start dreaming that Einstein was throwing encyclopaedias at my head.

Start to wake.

My mind would tell Einstein to throw triple-ply toilet paper at my head. Toilet paper is softer than encyclopaedias, so they tell me.

Drift off to sleep again.

Start to wake, etc.

So I have to wonder why?

Sheer masochism? Or does my brain work for someone else?

Who?

That’s what the people of Hawkinge-By-Hythe want to know when the town’s statues start sneaking about on some mysterious mission of their own.

Who’s behind it all?

You can find out The Squared Circle!

And there’s never been a better time to buy. That good news I teased? I’ve dropped the price of The Squared Circle from 4.99 to only 3.99!

​Get it now, before I change this damn mind of mine…

Chat soon,

Morgan

P.S. More Morgan? Get 2 of my books free here: morgandelaney.info/newsletter

Raise your glasses to the masses!

This week I smashed past a massive 100,000 words of the latest Alumière adventure, The Cat Wore Black!

100,000 words is about the length of To Kill a Mockingbird.

And I’m only about 80-ish% through the book.

Don’t worry, though. I’m a messy writer, and this is the first draft.

Once I pull out the Red Pen and start deleting, that word count will come right back down again.

I reckon the finished Cat will clock in at a respectable 75,000-80,000 like the others.

Overwrite, then over-edit.

That’s my motto.

For example, I’m currently 18,000 words into a short story, for which I only need about 4,000…

Words, it seems, are a lot like rats…

They’re happier in packs.

Or, to be precise, in mischiefs, which is the collective noun for rats.

And there’s definitely mischief afoot in Hawkinge-By-Hythe, when rats descend upon the town to answer a dead witch’s call for revenge.

Who can the townsfolk call to save them?

The three Alumière sisters: Colette; Victoria, and Gertrude.

By the way, the correct collective noun for Alumières is an intrepid of Alumières.

​Find out why here!

Chat soon,

Morgan

P.S. More Morgan? Get 2 of my books free here: morgandelaney.info/newsletter

You think you’ve seen it all…

I’m friends with the stray dogs in our local park.

The people working in the park feed the dogs, and I supply the tickles (and additional treats).

Then the bloody birds ruined it.

What should have been a win-win situation has turned into a catastrophe.

The dogs get food – and tickles. The blackbirds get whatever’s left.

But the birds wanted more.

So they started pecking at the oldest dog, who only has three legs, to hurry him on before he’s finished.

They sneak up behind and peck his bum.

Wait. It gets worse.

They realised I also bring treats, so they started arriving as soon as I showed up.

But this week they reached a new low.

It was well past breakfast time, and I had stopped to dispense tickles to the deserving on my way home from bringing Nadine to work.

The three-legged dog was enjoying the sun.

And an ugly blackbird – I’ll admit I’m not impartial – plonked down and started pecking the three-legged guy for no reason!

He – or she – stopped when I gave them my honest opinion of their behaviour in a loud voice laced with plenty of, er, French.

What’s next?

At this stage, I fully expect them to kidnap my pals and turn up disguised as dogs themselves by the end of next month.

And if you stop receiving these emails shortly after that, you’ll know they’ve come for me…

And that’s birds.

Imagine how terrified the people of Hawkinge-by-Hythe must be when a plague of rats descends upon the town in answer to a dead witch’s 400-year-old curse.

​Or just read about it here!

Chat soon,

Morgan

P.S. More Morgan? Get 2 of my books free here: morgandelaney.info/newsletter

We want to try every restaurant in Tbilisi before we leave this summer.

I can’t recommend last night’s restaurant.

The food tasted fine, but the decor included a film projector projecting some old Georgian film.

I know it’s Georgian because 90% of the action was people eating and drinking.

The walls were stuffed with pictures, paintings, and various vintage bits and bobs, so they projected the film across the top of one wall and part of the ceiling.

To be specific, the actors – mostly sitting down and stuffing their faces – were projected onto the wall to just above their eyebrows.

Everything above that was projected onto the ceiling, with the ensuing distortion giving them enormous foreheads and hair.

I found it distracting to pay attention to my beautiful wife while I needed to watch those glowing monstrous figures to make sure they weren’t staring at me and licking their lips.

Waiting for a chance to reach out of the film and gnaw on my bones.

Surprisingly, none of the restaurant’s reviews on TripAdvisor mention this at all!

Well, I won’t say anything either.

Maybe the Bighead Monsters only eat the people who make a fuss or leave a bad review?

That’s like the situation in Hawkinge-By-Hythe.

When a dead witch’s revenge unleashes rats on the town, there’s no denying there must be witchcraft involved.

But everyone would rather deal with the rats than the consequences of mentioning witches within Gertrude Alumière’s hearing…

Find out witch which fate awaits them in The Phoenix here now.

Chat soon,

Morgan

P.S. More Morgan? Get 2 of my books free here: morgandelaney.info/newsletter

a good friend called me crazy this week.

He meant it in a good way after seeing my “history” videos for the first time.

But he’s wrong.

Consider:

This weekend we celebrate the crucifixion of a man-god (celebrate!?!) with bunnies and chocolate.

I mean crucifixion?

You can’t buy full-size crosses now, and you couldn’t buy them back then. Somebody had to make them to order each time.

Why not stick the condemned in a big hole full of water (or olive oil, or whatever is available) with his hands and feet tied so he couldn’t get out and would drown once he got tired?

And then storing him in a cave for three days!

At first, I thought this bit made sense. But it’s the weirdest of the lot.

It’s to confirm he’s really dead, right?

But if you’ve just deliberately killed someone on purpose, why bother?

Bury them straight away.

If they are still alive, well there’s your deterrent.

The whole thing makes no sense.

You see what I mean?

Fine, I may believe a small man with a humongous head is waiting behind the shower curtain to get me when I need the toilet in the middle of the night, but I’m not crazy.

Everyone else is.

That’s why visiting Hawkinge-by-Hythe is such a relief. There’s never anything serious to worry about.

Alright, so a dead witch is out for revenge, and rats are running rampant, but with the intrepid Alumière sisters investigating, things can’t get too out of hand, can they?

​Find out here!

Chat soon,

Morgan

P.S. More Morgan? Get 2 of my books free here: morgandelaney.info/newsletter

we’re moving back to Berlin for a few years this summer.

Which means I need to find a job.

Just when my resume thought it could retire, it’ll need to work harder than ever before!

My last position as an employee was as a specialty building manager in Australia…

nine years ago.

While I’ve been busy with the books since then, I’m not yet sure how to parlay those skills into a job in the building industry.

“Morgan has almost a decade’s worth of experience building entire worlds in his books!”

And, as you know, I can walk and talk at the same time.

That’s going on the resume.

In my latest nonsense history video, I talk about the time American writer O. Henry was imprisoned for embezzlement at his job.

​A sentence which cost him his job and his Hogg…

I’m almost at 100 subscribers, so please keep sharing these videos with your friends!

Then tell me, what are your top job hunting tips?

Mine is:

Ignore the job requirements. If you like the sound of the role – and think you can do it – apply for it.

Chat soon,

Morgan

P.S. More Morgan? Get 2 of my books free here: morgandelaney.info/newsletter