You think you’ve seen it all…

I’m friends with the stray dogs in our local park.

The people working in the park feed the dogs, and I supply the tickles (and additional treats).

Then the bloody birds ruined it.

What should have been a win-win situation has turned into a catastrophe.

The dogs get food – and tickles. The blackbirds get whatever’s left.

But the birds wanted more.

So they started pecking at the oldest dog, who only has three legs, to hurry him on before he’s finished.

They sneak up behind and peck his bum.

Wait. It gets worse.

They realised I also bring treats, so they started arriving as soon as I showed up.

But this week they reached a new low.

It was well past breakfast time, and I had stopped to dispense tickles to the deserving on my way home from bringing Nadine to work.

The three-legged dog was enjoying the sun.

And an ugly blackbird – I’ll admit I’m not impartial – plonked down and started pecking the three-legged guy for no reason!

He – or she – stopped when I gave them my honest opinion of their behaviour in a loud voice laced with plenty of, er, French.

What’s next?

At this stage, I fully expect them to kidnap my pals and turn up disguised as dogs themselves by the end of next month.

And if you stop receiving these emails shortly after that, you’ll know they’ve come for me…

And that’s birds.

Imagine how terrified the people of Hawkinge-by-Hythe must be when a plague of rats descends upon the town in answer to a dead witch’s 400-year-old curse.

​Or just read about it here!

Chat soon,

Morgan

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