Flash fiction

Made you look, you dirty duck.

Made you look for nothing.

That’s the version we sang as children after tricking someone into looking at nothing.

Or “gnaw-tin” with the proper Irish accent.

Different places around the world have different versions of the song.

Perhaps you were a dirty crook rather than a duck.

Or at risk of being turned into turtle soup.

But the game is best played in Germany, where they don’t seem to know it.

When we moved to Heidelberg, our flatmate Anne loved to suddenly stop while walking down the street and look up.

She’d wait until several Germans also stopped to look up, then she’d move on and laugh herself silly.

Building sites where nothing has been built yet (i.e., holes in the ground) are also popular for looking at in Germany.

They’re usually saved for Sundays, though.

So the whole family can enjoy the hole together.

But what do you look at?

2026 is the Year Morgan Grows His Newsletter and Sells Some Books.

To celebrate, I’d love to hear what fantasy/horror/genre websites you look at to keep up with the latest news, and which book reviewers you trust for recommendations.

Because if you like a certain website, and you like this newsletter…

other readers of that website might like this newsletter, too, right?

I’ve already started compiling a list, but there are so many!

So, I’d love it if you left a comment or replied to let me know which genre sites and blogs you read?​

Chat soon,

Morgan

Read more – and get two free ebooks – here: morgandelaney.info/newsletter.

Listen.

Do you hear that?

Numbers, floating in the air around us.

Trying to tell me something.

Listen.

It can’t be a coincidence because in my next book, The Cat Wore Black, radios come to Hawkinge-By-Hythe. People love them. Radio gives them all sorts of things.

Music, news, entertainment.

And when the station stops broadcasting at night, the radios transmit strange random numbers.

Which gives them the willies.

Then I read in Wired that plastic surgeons use the formula of the Fibonacci sequence to decide how to lift your butt. Each number in that sequence is the product of the two preceding numbers or when you divide a number by the preceding number, you get 1.6.

Known as the golden ratio, that mathematical proportion makes your bum look better, according to Mario González-Ulloa, the “grandfather of buttock augmentation.”*

It must mean something, right?

Apart from meaning I now think of it as the Fibon-ass-i sequence.

And then there are the gremlins.

The original Gremlins came out in 1984.

Gremlins 2 appeared 6 years later in 1990.

And I just learned Gremlins 3 will be released in 2027.

37 years later.

What do all these numbers mean?

Don’t ask me, I’m rubbish at maths.

Listen, I struggled to solve the problem of one undead girl, two graverobbers, twelve corpses and half a dozen men called Jack O’Brien (partially dead).

How did I do?

You tell me; I show all my work in A Grave & Dreadful Business, available here!

(Only two more weeks before the ebook is available everywhere!)

Chat soon,

Morgan

*Is that… is that a compliment?

as the days contract, leaking inky night into the cold evenings, we need more music.

And there’s a final Bandcamp this year, on December 5th, so here’s what I think you should get.

AVTT/PTTN is The Avett Brothers (American folk-rock) with Mike Patton (Faith No More, Fantomas, Mr Bungle, etc.). And that’s exactly what you get: Mike Patton doing things to rock songs. Sold, but I still want that next Fantomas album, please.

Next!

There’s something very wrong with a world where the Sleaford Mods can sell out arenas – but I like it. This is bitter electronic post-punk, with anger and dark humour bubbling through the lyrics. The first single from the new album features Gwendoline Christie – that’s Brienne of Tarth to you and me- on guest vocals, so you’ll want that.

Next!

They made us wait 25 years for new music, and there’s more already. Prolapse’s new single is one great new song, one excellent remix. Sold!

Next!

HaywardxDälek. Dälek makes heavy metal hip-hop and Charles Hayward was the drummer from 70s English experimental rock band This Heat. This is going to wreck the dog’s head when he hears it. Not the cat, though. She’s chill. She’ll get it.

Next!

Comacozer’s new release, a split with Congulus, will calm the dog down with all the chilled-out, over-fuzzed, space-tripping amp worship he needs.

Next!

Black metal is where most of the interesting new stuff is happening these days. Case in point: Agriculture. This is “ecstatic black metal,” and it’s astonishing. Well worth the effort of getting your head around. Think Deafheaven, but more emotional and unpredictable.

So.

Definitely something in there for everyone 😉

I’ll give you some book and film recommendations on Saturday to make it up to you, okay?

Chat soon,

Morgan

Read more – and get two free ebooks – here: https://morgandelaney.info/newsletter.

do you remember when Twin Peaks first ran on television?

I was in school, and everyone talked about it.

Except for me. I didn’t get it and gave up after the first season.

Well, we’re trying again, and things have changed.

I’m no longer that callow, ignorant youth.

I’m older. More experienced.

Allowed to wear long trousers.

And I still don’t get it.

Which doesn’t mean I’m not enjoying it. I have found a way.

So, in case you’re in a similar position, here are my three top tips for coping with Twin Peaks.

1. Tell yourself it’s from Finland. You’ll find the weirdness —whether that’s the strange colours, the Log Lady, or Agent Cooper’s mad enthusiasm for coffee and pie —suddenly makes sense if you think, “Yes, but it’s probably like that in Finland.”
2. Whenever the Twin Peaks’ theme song plays – which is a lot – play Hale and Pace’s “Nest in t’Dormer” in your head instead. Hale and Pace were a comedy duo from the 80s and 90s, and this song has been stuck in my head ever since I first heard it. Waiting for its moment. It’s basically “Nessun Dorma” sung by pigeon fanciers from Northern England. I couldn’t find the full sketch, but there’s an excerpt here, about 1 minute 40 seconds in. It fits surprisingly well.
3. Skip Twin Peaks altogether. Things make a hell of a lot more sense when a dead girl’s body is discovered missing in Dublin’s Bullskellig Graveyard.

Buy A Grave & Dreadful Business now and you’ll have time to “Finnish” it before I find out what happened to Laura Palmer.

I do find out what happened to her, don’t I?

Chat soon,

Morgan

Read more - and get two free ebooks - here: morgandelaney.info/newsletter.

I knew I was special while still a child.

Eating spoonfuls of Marmite is probably what gave it away.

Do you know Marmite?

Australians have a similar thing called Vegemite, if that helps?

Okay, look. Imagine soya sauce.

Now imagine someone dumped enough yeast into soya sauce to make it thick and sludgy – mmm, thick and sludgy!

That’s Marmite.

Don’t get me wrong, I ate other things as a child.

Cheese sandwiches.

Tomato sandwiches.

Er, cheese and tomato sandwiches.

But those were meals.

If I wanted a snack, I grabbed my trusty spoon and dipped it into the Marmite.

Pull out a thick, sludgy glob and start licking like it was a lollipop for naughty children specially designed by Willy Wonka.

Despite the ridiculous amount of salt burning my mouth.

Like I said, special.

Still, I enjoyed it, though many people wouldn’t.

What I’m trying to say is that today’s flash fiction story video might be considered a spoonful of Marmite.

Some people will enjoy it.

Some won’t.

But it made me laugh, so here you go.

It’s well known that in a threesome, someone always gets hurt.

Watch “Already Decided” on YouTube here to learn why!

Chat soon,

Morgan

Read more - and get two free ebooks - here: morgandelaney.info/newsletter.

I’m a sucker for great names, and today I’ve got one of the best.

There’s a German guy here in Georgia selling wine.

And his name is:

Hilarius Pütz.

Go look up Hilarius Pütz Wines. I know you don’t believe me.

See?

Hilarius is the name of a 5th century pope, as well as the 4th century bishop nicknamed the Arian Hammer.

From the Greek for “cheerful”.

A popular male name during the Middle Ages, since the 20th century eclipsed in popularity by the female version, Hilary.

I can’t be as certain about Pütz.

The internet tells me with complete certainty that it originates in Saxony, Bavaria and Prussia. It may refer to cleanliness, puddles or ornamentation, depending on the website.

The use of putz as an insult in the US, probably comes from the German word for cleaning or ornamentation, suggesting a useless person.

Someone with no skills beyond hanging around looking decorative.

Except for when it comes from the Yiddish putz, which is a lot ruder and need not concern us here.

So there.

Yes, Morgan, but what about the wine?

Ah.

You got me.

I don’t know.

Yet.

On the website you can buy it in standard bottles, but Nadine – Woman of the Year. Again. – got it the proper Georgian way:

filled into a five-litre plastic drum.

So that’s the weekend sorted.

I’ll let you know next week whether I recommend it.

If I remember.

In the meantime, I definitely recommend Nadia Bulkin’s Issues with Authority if you’re looking for a clever horror read, or Bob Mortimer’s Hotel Avocado if you’re looking for something more whimsical.

Check out my Goodreads’ reviews for Issues with Authority and Hotel Avocado now!

Chat soon!

Morgan

Read more - and get two free ebooks - here: morgandelaney.info/newsletter.