Morgan Delaney

Dark, strange and fantastic fiction

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Horror-ish 3

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Logo for Horror-ish 3 short film festival
Horor-ish 3: the third annual horrorish short film festival

Hurray for Halloween!

To help you prepare, I’ve collected lots of horrible goodies this week.

What’s going to be truly horrible, however, is November. I’ll be trying to write the detailed outlines of two books for a minimum of 50,000 words.

I’ll keep sending my newsletters, but they are likely to be shorter than usual in November.
This week, however, I have harrowing music and celestial horrors in my round up at the bottom of this email, but the real treat is this week’s main feature!

I’ve been working on this all year, searching for the best horror and/or horror adjacent short films on the web.
Get in the Halloween mood by diving into:

The 3rd Horror-ish Film Festival

Part 1: Dread

  1. We’re starting with an Austrian dark comedy. A young couple decide to get rid of their old washing machine, leading to some uncomfortable encounters. The sense of escalating dread in this 22 minute film is fantastic! The Washing Machine
  2. Then it’s time for a dark comedy that’s fun. Enjoy 4 minutes of Swiss silence in Hand in Hand
  3. If you need some fresh air after that, come join me for a walk in the woods. But listen. There’s a reason your parents always warned you not to go splashing through puddles… Two Puddles
  4. And for God’s sake stop playing with that light switch! Significant Other
  5. I’ve selected mostly newer films this year, but I’d like to finish part 1 of the festival with this classic that knows how to make a splash: One Last Dive

Intermission: Delusions

  1. Welcome weirdos, this bit of the festival is for you! First off, some stop motion magic. Not really horror, but delightfully horrible nonetheless. This is a bit wistful and sad, so might kill your buzz if that’s not your thing, Rambo. For everyone else: Listen To Me Sing
  2. This one is hard to describe. Maybe “eating very good magic mushrooms and then watching a Simpsons Treehouse of Horror while your family has left and you don’t know where they are.” Sounds good? Ghost Dogs
  3. I loved this one. This is a two-minute palate cleanser, made solely from stock video and auto-readers. Reminded me a bit of some of Chris Morris’ stranger Jam* sketches: Relax

Part 2: and Disaster

  1. Time to increase the pressure for the second half of the festival. I hope you’re ready? Don’t worry, a nurse is standing by, should it be too much. This nine minute short is getting made into a feature film, so watch it here first! The Blue Door
  2. Next up is another creepy classic: The Cat With Hands
  3. Then a modern classic of disorientation to soften you up further. This one is gorgeous, confusing and packed full of delicious dread: Sudden Light

12: Before we head back to some jump scares. This one is also being turned into a feature, so, er, listen to it here first! They Hear It

  1. The sound on this one is not great, you may need to turn up the volume, otherwise it’s short, sweet and very effective: Fear Wish
  2. We’re finishing the festival with a film inside a film, and you’re going to love it. Welcome to The Backrooms Found Footage… and goodbye.

In Case You Missed It This Week:

Read!
If you’re not already signed up to Mark Stay’s newsletter, then you won’t have heard about his latest free read, which is a comic! Sign up to the newsletter to get The Wish Demon!

Look!
Just in time for Halloween NASA have created more gorgeous Galaxy of Horror B-Movie style posters for various exo-planets. Check them out here!

Listen!
I missed Birds In Row when their first album came out, but I’ve just discovered their new second album, Gris Klein. I’m rubbish at genres, so I’m calling this the lovechild of Fugazi and At The Drive In, wearing a Deafheaven tshirt. Very exciting!

Enjoy!

(Excerpted from my newsletter dated 29th October, 2022. Sign up for the full, up-to-date experience!)

* The collected intros to Jam

Bitter on the Tongue

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A woman and a cow standing together in a field
Image generated by OpenAI’s DALL-E 2 AI system. Prompt by Morgan Delaney

Welcome!

I have set titles and a rough outline for the next two Alumière adventures, ready for NaNoWriMo.
NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month, and the goal is usually to write 50,000 words of a novel during November.
Never afraid to do things wrong on purpose, however, I am going to write two 25,000 word drafts instead.
(Anyone can take part. If you’ve ever thought about writing a book, perhaps now is the right time? Find out more here.)

Flash Fiction: Bitter on the Tongue

I’m keeping this week’s offline for now, in case I’d like to do something else with it.

Sorry!

If you want to read everything, you can subscribe to my newsletter here.

In Case You Missed It This Week:

Read!
I just finished How To Teach Quantum Physics To Your Dog. This means that, at least for quantum physics, I am now as smart as a dog! I whole-heartedly recommend it, here’s my Goodreads review.

Read!
I’ve just started The Hysteria of Bodalís. It’s about a guy beating a computer game, but everyone believes he defeated the aliens for real. As they were hoping to be saved by the aliens, they’re not happy…
Wait for my review, or grab it FREE now by signing up to Marcos Antonio Hernandez’s newsletter.

Read!
While researching book titles I came across this lesser-known classic by Robert Louis Stevenson. Read short story “Markheim” FREE here.
(Hammer Film Productions called it The Mirror and Markheim when they turned it into a featurette.)

Watch!
Or should that be “watch out”? for the “profound hopelessness” of “ultraviolent” Unicorn Wars, which pits cuddly teddy bears against unicorns in a fight to the bitter end. Coming 2023, and, I have to say, I’m looking forward to this!
If there are no children in the room, then check out the trailer here!

Listen!
Leeds noisemongers Blacklisters are back! Get their latest release
“Leisure Centre” from Bandcamp here.

Enjoy!

(Excerpted from my newsletter dated 22nd October, 2022. Sign up for the full, up-to-date experience!)

Piehole

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A vector sketch of Great Britain and Ireland with random arrows
Image generated by OpenAI’s DALL-E 2 AI system. Prompt by Morgan Delaney

Welcome!

I managed to finish “Laura’s Suitcase” (still don’t have a proper title), only to get stuck in another story (working title: “Dirtgod”).
I’ve also eaten a weird but delicious type of Georgian liquid bread that I didn’t catch the name of (I’ll get back to you), and arranged a little something for early next week. Don’t miss it!
Make sure you also fail to miss this week’s story. It’s a funny one to make up for last week’s story, which I gather not everyone enjoyed as much as I did.

Flash Fiction: Happy and Glorious

England smiled, causing a dimple in Wales and another in Belgium (as if anyone cared).
It had bad teeth.
Based on their arrangement, experts estimated the location of the eyes. It was a very human face. Rumours started to spread, forcing the government to block access to the chasm of England’s mouth.
Cars and trains had plunged into it when the mouth opened, ripping roads and railways apart. But now people jumped and drove into it deliberately to get — finally — away from Europe for real.
People said King Arthur lived down there with Winston Churchill and Robin Hood. Elvis Presley was granted mandatory British citizenship, when the prime minister heard his music echoing up England’s throat.
Experts extrapolated the position of the nostrils. Dynamite and big yellow trucks were sent to clear the blockage, lest it be said the king ruled over a mouth breather.
In Wales, people danced naked to the cult of the dimple.
The Leader of the Scottish National Party said that if the mouth was down there, then Scotland must have the brains.
Northern Ireland said that England must have three eyes, because otherwise they would only get a single wonky ear, while the Republic of Ireland dug a trench across the middle of the country—which was all bog, anyway—because they had no face at all.
Immigrants were refused asylum and deported. Then anyone who didn’t look quite English enough, no matter what their passports said, because it wouldn’t do to have foreigners walking on England’s face.
They were shipped off to… well, does it matter?
The poor were given a starter pack of one hundred pairs of blue plastic shoe covers, because they all had pitbulls which shit everywhere, and they certainly stepped in it, rather than walk around it.
Then Richard Littlejohn made a joke in the Daily Mail, a newspaper which was only ever intended as wrapping for fish ‘n’ chips, and people read by mistake.
About where the stuff that the mouth ate must come out.
It so annoyed China that they bombed England’s face in retaliation.
Naturally everyone was very annoyed with China for a while, but it meant they didn’t have to listen to England talking about its face any more.
And as soon as France stopped complaining about the radiation levels, which would surely drop soon by themselves, everything could go back to normal.

In Case You Missed It This Week:

Read!
You can read Dark Matter Magazine’s Special Halloween edition online for FREE this month. Do that here!

Watch!
This short film is not horror, but it does have a monster cat! This is great!

Look!
I’m getting a head start on the cover design for an upcoming project and came across these amazing paintings. What do you think, would you buy a dark fantasy book that looked like this?

Watch!
Remember when the Rubberbandits warned us in 2010 that there was a Horse Outside? (Caution, very sweary link)
Well, it’s finally happened. They’ve come inside. And they don’t speak English, apparently. Horse Inside.

Enjoy!

(Excerpted from my newsletter dated 15th October, 2022. Sign up for the full, up-to-date experience!)

Dangerous Ladies

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A group of three glamourous but very scary looking women
Image generated by OpenAI’s DALL-E 2 AI system. Prompt by Morgan Delaney

Welcome!

A sweet, white-haired old granny normally sells fruit (figs and oranges, I think) from a public bench outside our closest big supermarket. She’s not there when I arrive with Manchee, so I’m in position when she eventually turns up. But there’s a problem: a drunk is passed out on the bench.
So she starts beating the crap out of him with her walking stick.
Eventually she gets bored of that and crowbars him onto the ground, at which point he wakes up.
That’s Dangerous Lady #1

I am stuck in “Laura’s Suitcase”, the short story I had hoped to finish last week.
Every time I’m just about to give up, it starts to work and Laura draws me back in.
That’s Dangerous Lady #2.

In today’s Flash Fiction, we meet Dangerous Lady #3.

No spoilers, but you should know that today’s short story is aimed at mature audiences who aren’t afraid of spiders.

Flash Fiction: Last Legs

Frank waited until the last moment to cancel. He called the hotel from the hallway, letting them know he wouldn’t be there. The handle of his small carry-on case sweated under his palm. He turned his phone off in case Lisa texted to ask how the traffic was at his end.
She wouldn’t know he wasn’t coming until she arrived, and would be too angry to drive back and confront him.
She had promised she wouldn’t, but she could never resist showing him her spider when they were together.
When he told Lisa he would do anything for her, obviously he meant anything except spiders.
He’d find someone else.
Maybe.
She kept suggesting they move in together. With rent prices like they were, it made little sense to keep their own apartments. That’s what Lisa said.
For Frank, it made perfect sense. She had her spider in her flat, and he had his flat without. She brought it everywhere with her, though, and insisted on showing it to him.
It was bad enough knowing the thing was there. She didn’t have to shove it in his face!
His phone buzzed as soon as he turned it back on. She shouted at him, calling him a coward and other names. Worse was the tapping of the spider’s legs as it touched the phone to get to him.
He had been right to cancel: it was already on the loose, despite her promises. Well, let them enjoy their holiday together. They wouldn’t need him for that.
He missed her, though, as soon as she hung up.
He dreamt about her that night. She wasn’t wearing panties. She had tied his hands to his lonely bed’s headboard with them.
When she knelt to straddle his face, the spider that lived between her wet lips reached out to caress his face with its hairy double-jointed legs.

In Case You Missed It This Week:

Read!
I don’t read much SF, but when I do, then only the good stuff. Like the Mirrorshades anthology, featuring William Gibson, Pat Cadigan, Greg Bear and more. Long out of print, contributor Rudy Rucker is hosting it on his website as a free read!

Prophesy!
I already told you that short fiction magazine, The Deadlands is now free if you sign up. They’ve launched a Kickstarter to fund the next year of fiction, and one of the perks is a 3 card tarot reading for $10. My tarot newsletter was one of my most popular editions, so I know you’re interested.
This is your chance to find out who will replace Liz Truss and clean up at the bookies!
(And marginalised/unpublished short fiction writers can snag a critique from professional writers for a measly $25!)

Research!
I loved this story about the conspiracy theory that Barbara Bush, the wife of George Bush, is the daughter of Aleister Crowley, the self-styled “Beast” of sex magick.
“I wanted to test whether anyone would take the first, obvious step of contacting me and asking ‘Is this real?'”
Daughter of the Beast, or rather Mother of the Beast, is therefore Dangerous Lady #4. (She might not be Aleister Crowley’s daughter, but she did give birth to George W. Bush…)

Enjoy!

(Excerpted from my newsletter dated 8th October, 2022. Sign up for the full, up-to-date experience!)

Hugs and Stuff

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A ruined car parked in front of a setting moon.
Image generated by OpenAI’s DALL-E 2 AI system. Prompt by Morgan Delaney

Welcome!

This week’s story is a blood-drenched psychological horror about a guy who probably needed a hug, while my recommendations roundup will tell tell you when a hug is not appropriate.

Flash Fiction: Willem Dafoe’s Face

Greg puked on the grass verge near the disco. In the moonlight, the mess of hot dogs and fries looked like an autopsy photo of guts. The blood splashed over the back seats was black oily paint.
He didn’t understand how could want them so much when they were alive, yet be so disgusted when they were dead. He could stop at the bridge to get rid of the body if he drove the long way home.
When he arrived, it wasn’t in the trunk.
He even got on his knees to look under the car, in case it had fallen out and rolled there. He had definitely killed the man in the back seat. He had definitely pulled the body out and dumped it in the trunk. The ticklish sensation of enjoying the still-warm skin, while repulsion built in his throat at the blood like greasy sweat, was fresh.
He thought he remembered the thump of the trunk lid slamming shutbefore he puked and drove off. He was always so careful. Could he have left a dead body beside a pile of puke with his DNA in it?
The car wouldn’t start. He got out again to push, but it moved an inch before rolling back to its original position. It didn’t matter about the puke, if they caught him on the bridge in a blood-drenched car.
He was trapped unless someone helped him. He dropped to his knees beside the car and prayed to God. He swore he’d never do it again, if the car would start. It was a lie, and Greg knew it. His God, who had Willem Dafoe’s face, but meth teeth and calluses on his knuckles, knew it too.
Greg stood. The body was in the driver’s seat. He met Greg’s stare of disbelief with disgust.
Greg thought about jumping into the river himself. It was where all the bodies went. There was a beauty in that pattern. But he couldn’t stand the thought of the cold water in his lungs, or the rocks on the riverbed smashing his teeth.
If he walked home, maybe he could slit his wrists in the bath before the police arrived. Caught but not caught. There was a beauty in that idea, too.
Instead, he got in on the passenger’s side. Just to see what would happen.
For the longest time, nothing did. Then the rears doors opened, and the car filled itself with the stench of sweet decay and musty clothes.
The car coughed into life, like spitting out water, and they drove off the way they’d come.

In Case You Missed It This Week:

Watch!
A comedy-horror show with puppets? Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared is as good as it sounds!
Check out the new series on Channel 4! Compare them with the original YouTube videos!! Don’t Be Scared!!! Have Fun!!?

Watch!
After being postponed due to the death of Queen Elizabeth II, Stewart Lee’s Tornado is now available on BBC’s iPlayer for UK viewers! Get blown away here!

Watch!
Jarleth Regan is a new stand-up comedian for me. Maybe you’ve already heard of him, but here’s a full hour of comedy first posted online in June 2022.

Enjoy!

(Excerpted from my newsletter dated 1st October, 2022. Sign up for the full, up-to-date experience!)

Peckish

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Image generated by OpenAI’s DALL-E 2 AI system. Prompt by Morgan Delaney

Editor. From the Latin for “torturer of authors”

While the Alumières get chunks torn out of their manuscript, and their noses rubbed in the plot holes, I’m writing a short story with the working title “Laura’s Suitcase”.

It’s about a woman called Laura. And she has a…?

Correct!

For me, a working title is just the simplest possible reminder of the story I’m thinking about. I generally come up with the real titles last, because I don’t know for certain what a story’s tone will be until it’s finished. Where possible, I like to use a line or phrase from the story as the title.

The Alumière stories are the exception. I generally come up with the titles while I’m sketching out the story.

Weird.

This week’s Main Feature is “Peckish”, a flash fantasy about a hungry cat, and I round off this week’s newsletter with a bumper crop of recommendations, including where you can get some torture for yourself. Don’t miss it!

Peckish
This week’s flash fiction about a cat who finds a magical tree full of delicious birds is currently only available to newsletter subscribers.

Sorry.

Have you considered signing up for my free, no spam, no obligation newsletter? Do that here!

Oh, and…
Read!

Tim Waggoner is now offering a FREE ebook to subscribers to his newsletter, and it’s a doozy. Tim has been writing for years, and his newsletter is always crammed full of goodies. I’m subscribed and think you should be too. Sign up here for a free ebook!

Read!

I have read three good books in a row. That’s a new record. It’s not that there aren’t a lot of good books out there, it’s that I’m so fussy. So, if you’re searching for a book recommendation, check these out.

First, I read Performing Flea, which is P. G. Wodehouse’s collected letters. Loved it! Here’s my goodreads review.

Then I read Mark Stay’s The Ghost Of Ivy Barn. This is the third in his Witches of Woodville series, which keeps getting better. Loved it! Here’s my goodreads review.

And I just finished Nicole Cushing’s A Sick Gray Laugh, and feel like people have been hiding her from me. How come I’m only reading her now for the first time? This is a darker read, but still great, great fun. Loved it! Here’s my goodreads review.

Listen!

In a world which finds it ever harder to agree on anything, it’s a comfort to know there is one fact which remains indisputable:

Clutch rock!

To celebrate the release of their brand new album, there’s a 90 minute livestreamed video on YouTube right now. Make sure you stick around for the last song for an orgy of cow bell solos! (Because this is Clutch, that’s why!)

Check out the video here!

If you like what you hear, buy the album direct from the band here. (Only $5 for the digital album!)

Look!

Here’s a 3D Tour of a Torture Museum. It’s interesting enough, I suppose. What intrigues me is the lack of any real information on where it is, how they make their money, and why. Apart from a randomly uploaded Discovery channel logo, there’s very little information about this at all. Almost like they don’t want anyone to visit… Now, that’s scary.

Chat soon!