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Morgan Delaney

Dark, strange and fantastic fiction

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Horror

10 Famous Movie Monsters, Where Are They Now?

November 4, 2021 by Morgan Delaney

A black and white photo of a man in a Frankenstein mask standing in his back garden
Photo by Bruno Guerrero on Unsplash

Halloween is over, and people are packing their decorations away for another year. But what about the monsters: what happens to them, when everyone loses interest? Read on!


1. The Wolf Man. After his run in Hollywood, the Wolf Man returned to journalism, where he worked for local newspapers, most recently at the Arkansas Gazetteer, until they were purchased by Gannett Media in 2011. He ultimately accepted the takeover (which he had initially opposed) with the good humour for which he was known, saying that perhaps he was “getting a little long in the tooth.”

2. The Mummy also left Hollywood behind, fronting several popular Milwaukee bar bands until overdosing in 1958, 1962, 1969, 1980, 1984, 1985, 1986, 1988, 1992 and, for the last time, in 1995.

3. The Creature from the Black Lagoon. A Black Lagoon creature has accompanied Sea Shepherd ships almost since the organisation’s inception. It is not known if it is the original creature, or one of its offspring, as the creature/Creature remains incredibly secretive. Occasionally, eager Japanese crews will actively seek out Sea Shepherd, offering to abort their whaling missions in exchange for selfies with the creature/Creature.

4. Dracula. The original Dracula works as a Dracula impersonator, specialising in children’s Halloween parties. Dracula is highly skilled in the art of balloon animals.

5. Frankenstein’s monster continues to work in his own piercing and tattoo parlour, and advocating for temperance.

6. King Kong went on to work as a successful casting agent and, later, film producer, until his death in 1971.

7. Godzilla continues to work in films, though he requires increasing amounts of CGI to play his roles. He is now roughly half as large as in his heyday and continues to shrink with age.

8. The Phantom of the Opera lives in Paris, having returned there after narrowly escaping the Jonestown massacre in Guyana.

9. The Bride of Frankenstein (more correctly: the Bride of Frankenstein’s Monster) remains a popular talk show host, with an upcoming podcast she will co-host with Oprah Winfrey.

10. The invisible man. I don’t know, but someone sniggers whenever I come out of the shower.


Don’t forget tomorrow, November 5th, is Bandcamp Friday, when Bandcamp waive their fees. Buying music tomorrow via the Bandcamp website therefore means more of your money goes straight to your favourite independant musicians!

Don’t have any favourite independant musicians? No problem, you can support mine.

I’ll be pre-ordering IDLES new album Crawler.

Converge and Chelsea Wolfe are collaborating on Bloodmoon. You better believe I’ll be pre-ordering that.

There’s every sign that Random Hand might be releasing new music shortly. In the meantime, there’s this remix of their Hit Reset album. A remix album? Are the 90s cool again already?

Filed Under: Horror, Killer lists Tagged With: Bandcamp Friday, Chelsea Wolfe, Horror, IDLES, Killer lists, Random Hand

10 Things I Don’t Want On My Doorstep This Halloween

October 28, 2021 by Morgan Delaney

Made with photos by Daniel Radford and Tim L. Productions on Unsplash

In preparation for Halloween, here’s a useful list of things I don’t want to see on the big day. Did I forget something? Let me know in the comments!


1. A basket with the handwritten note: “Please look after him!” Especially if it’s already bigger than a normal baby, has antennae and is chittering.

2. Boris Johnson. Especially if – as usual – he’s pretending he doesn’t know where he is, or how he got there.

3. A clown in a white and red costume, with bedraggled hair and his back turned to me. Especially if – although his back is turned to me – his head is twisted around to grin at me with black teeth, and he has a red syphilitic hole where his nose should be.

4. A portal to another world. Especially if there is another version of me climbing out, drenched in blood and muttering to himself.

5. A monkey in a trench coat. Especially if he is smoking a cigarette and holding up a photograph of a woman I recognise.

6. A paper bag filled with dog poo and set on fire. Especially if I see my mother running off as I open the door. Especially because I know she doesn’t have a dog.

7. A monkey’s paw with uncurled fingers. Especially if I hear ghostly laughter as I stoop to take a closer look.

8. The rest of the monkey, looking for his paw. Especially if he brought all his friends.

9. A banshee, howling when she sees me. Especially if there is a banshee on all the other doorsteps, all howling together.

10. A salesperson going door-to-door to encourage people to upgrade their Internet package. Especially if I know for a fact that it’s the one I buried last week in my back garden.


In other news this week, you can get the film tie-in version of Adam Neville’s No One Gets Out Alive for 99 British pence on Amazon UK, but only until October 31st, so hurry!

Or top up on nightmare fuel with this year’s entries for the History Center of Olmsted County’s Creepy Doll Contest. And if you understand how these things work you can vote for your favourite (you sicko) on Instagram.

Cheese is also nightmare fuel, but not this brilliant new limited-run t-shirt from Stewart Lee, which features his best-ever cheese joke. Sold!

Filed Under: Horror, Killer lists Tagged With: Adam Neville, Cheese, Creepy Dolls, Horror, Killer lists, Stewart Lee

Question

August 19, 2021 by Morgan Delaney

A burning glove
Photo by Tengyart on Unsplash

Here’s a little something to give the Work Health and Safety people nightmares! Please enjoy safely!


You only needed one finger to work the furnace that burned the bodies. Of course, you didn’t want people thinking you were clumsy. Seth sat in the machine room behind the oven on his break. The funeral home had kept him on out of a sense of duty after he lost the first finger. Seth loved the crackle and roar of the flames. When he died, he wanted to be cremated. Obviously: he’d already started cremating himself. He’d expected to feel it, though he’d lopped the finger off first: a “phantom pain,” but there had been nothing. He’d told Mr Sims the furnace door had done it.

He’d almost managed to keep the second missing finger quiet, until Mrs Sims said, “Oh, I thought it was the left hand it happened to?”

He told everyone he’d been too embarrassed to admit he’d lost another one, insisted the best thing to do was to get straight back to the furnace. Like riding a horse again as soon as you’ve been thrown. Seth reckoned it must have been when he threw in the third finger, and they kept him on, that they had become complicit. As long as he had a finger he do his job, nobody would say anything.

The flames were so bright. He was sure it must hurt, but it must be wonderful, too. To be dissolved by so much power. He’d have to keep his finger, but there were other bits he didn’t need.


This Saturday is Newsletter Saturday. This month my newsletter features the exclusive short story, “The Ladybird Queen”. Don’t miss any more!

Filed Under: Flash fiction, Horror Tagged With: Flash fiction, Horror

Nimble

August 12, 2021 by Morgan Delaney

A ship's mast against a red sunset sky
Photo by Sam Moqadam on Unsplash

Ahoy there! For this week’s flash fiction, we’re heading down to the docks to see what sort of creepy characters have been washed ashore. Enjoy.


The Crooked Boy climbed off the boat last, once the others had disbursed to seek fun in this new town they had discovered. The Crooked Boy was the navigator of the 50-foot sailboat, and was called “crooked,” because he could turn – crook – his neck all the way around, like an owl. (And because his idea of fun differed from that of the other boys too, perhaps).

He walked purposefully down a narrow alley he’d never been before. It stank of blood from the back of a butcher’s, and of piss from the back of an inn. He was soon among low houses, and when he saw an old grey-haired woman turn from an open window, where she had been stitching in the last of the day’s light, to disappear into her darkened home, he sprang onto her sill. He crooked his head around to check no one in the alley or other houses had seen him, then jumped inside, leaving his head twisted on backwards, so she couldn’t see his face.

Clothing hung everywhere, and the air was damp on his skin from all the washing, but she was quite alone. He followed the sound of her rummaging among pots in the kitchen. He waited in the kitchen doorway for her to turn around to him. His eyes, pointing back the way he had come, took in the clothing, and towels and cloths, with ornate crosses stitched onto them.

If she was religious, it would make it even better when she saw him and screamed. He waited.

“There you are,” she said. A warm hand took his arm and led him to the table, pushed him into a hard wooden chair. “They’ve been out looking for you. Here.”

Food slopped onto his plate. With his head on crooked, he could see potatoes in one pot and stew in the other behind him on the stove.

“If the wind changes, you’ll stay like that,” said the old woman, and the crooked boy uncrooked his head to face her. She pushed a heaped spoon of salty stew into his mouth.

“My boat?”

“All gone,” she said. “All gone, it was just a dream now.”

The crooked boy looked into the other room filled with wet clothes and funerary cloth with ornate crosses stitched onto them. He couldn’t read, but the letters under the crosses looked familiar, like the names of friends, and the smell wasn’t soap, but brine from the sea.

She had drowned all of them, so he could come home.


This week I discovered the 41256 podcast, each episode of which consists of various bits of radio shows stitched together. Relaxing, enjoyable, creepy, and very more-ish. Here’s episode 50: https://www.listennotes.com/podcasts/41256/episode-50-telling-them-HM4BteY3J52/

Filed Under: Flash fiction, Horror Tagged With: Flash fiction, Horror

Party

August 5, 2021 by Morgan Delaney

Bad make-up
Photo by Gregory Buzdyk on Unsplash

In this week’s piece of flash fiction a young girl dealy with love and peer pressure. Enjoy!


Rachel pushed the boy towards me. “This is Caleb,” she said.

I knew that. I’d had a crush on Caleb for a long time, the way he brushed his brown, messy hair off his forehead to reveal mischievous blue eyes.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” said Rachel, and left the bedroom.

I’d never done it before, but I was sure Caleb had. This was the last party of the year. Next year I’d be a Senior, and it’d be pathetic if I was the only Senior who hadn’t done it.

“I like your dress, is that… Zara?” I kissed him to shut him up. Would it hurt? I hoped it wouldn’t, but all the girls said it hurt first time. Mom said to wait, but the girls said it was better to get it over with.

Caleb sat next to me on the bed. His Adam’s apple stuck out, looking manly and vulnerable all at once. He was already a Senior, he’d be off to college next year.

“We can just talk, if you like,” said Caleb. I watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down and decided to go for it.

“Let’s do it,” I said. “But…”

He leaned in close.

“Can we lock the door?”

“Sure.” He bounded over and twisted the key to the door of Rachel’s bedroom, dampening the make out music. Everyone was downstairs, listening to hear if I’d cry out. I blushed at the thought of going downstairs with Caleb afterwards. Would he hold my hand? The thought of it almost made me puke, and my cheeks burned red. He took his shirt off as he came back to the bed.

“Should I?” My voice shook as I shrugged my shoulders, asking if he wanted me to undo the buttons of my dress. God, I knew nothing!

“Up to you,” said Caleb. “I promise not to get blood on you.”

I felt his teeth on my neck and it hurt. I gasped, but didn’t cry out. He drank some blood. It felt like a lot, but I don’t know, maybe it was only a little?

Afterwards, I felt cold and mature. Rachel and the others gave us a round of applause when we came downstairs. I felt at my teeth with my tongue, but they didn’t seem different.

“It’ll take a little while for them to grow.” Caleb held my hand and brushed the hair off his forehead. I watched the Adam’s apple dance in his neck, licking my lips.


If you enjoyed that, you’ll love the exclusive short story planned for this month’s newsletter. There’s still time to sign up for that right here!

Filed Under: Flash fiction, Horror Tagged With: Flash fiction, Horror

Must

July 29, 2021 by Morgan Delaney

Eucharist: Wine chalice and wafers
Photo by Josh Applegate on Unsplash

In this week’s flash fiction we look at when “til death do us part” isn’t such a long time as one might think…


Getting married in the middle of nowhere was almost like a small wedding, in that none of my friends and family were there. Still I hadn’t wanted to get married at all. But Shelley wanted it so badly, and she was so sick that she could barely get to the church on her family’s Scottish estate.

It must be a Scottish thing that the groom is presented to the bride. Shelley stood at the altar, smiling – perhaps – under her veil. Definitely showing teeth, while her father held my arms and marched me up the aisle. I hadn’t realised how sick her family looked. Some of them look practically dead, their necks creaking as their eyes followed my progress to stand before the priest.
“Do you take this man?” he asked.
“We do,” replied the congregation. They advanced on me with knives and forks.

Shelley’s father was strong but a kick in the balls is a kick in the balls, and I twisted out of his grasp, avoiding Shelley’s teeth as she lunged at my neck. The church was small, I couldn’t avoid them, there were so many. I slapped away grasping hands and grabbed a knife, putting out its owner’s eye, ripping Shelley’s veil. The priest was trying to sneak up on me, but I pulled his stole around his neck and tightened it. His belly took the brunt of the cutlery jabbing towards me and I manoeuvred my way to the door. The wedding guests were sidetracked by the intestine’s – bishop’s purple – spilling from him, and I tossed him into their midst.

I drove as fast as I could, not stopping until, my body shaking with used adrenaline, the tins tied to the back of the car finally quietened.


In other news this week, I’m really enjoying Molybaron’s new album. Here’s a taster: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NhjrElHZrI

Filed Under: Flash fiction, Horror Tagged With: Flash fiction, Horror

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