The slogan for this week’s flash fiction is MAGA: “Make Anyone Great Again,” (I’m going to copyright that, so don’t steal it).
But first, let me tell you about this self-help group I came across. Self-help is all the rage these days, and everyone’s doing it. Even people you wouldn’t expect…
Barry always stared at the speaker’s chin. It made it hard for me to gather my thoughts, when it was my turn. Like I was being burdened with the wieght of his attention. But we didn’t judge each other here. Or weren’t supposed to, anyway. We were all equal on the folding chairs arranged in a circle in community centre’s basement.
“My name is Alice, and I’m a serial killer,” said the newcomer to my right. We gave her an encouraging round of applause. It almost felt like we were applauding ourselves: Now, we had two female killers, which made us properly progressive. I’d never been to a group where there was more than one before. “I’ve been killing for over 12 years, and… are you staring at my tits?”
Barry jerked back as if he been given a jolt of electricity, then shook his head.
“I was just listening,” he said.
I could have said something, explained about his chin thing, but we had to learn to live with each other.
Alice killed other women (which felt somehow less progressive.) She was now a headmistress, having started as a substitute teacher.
“My name is Barry,” he said, when it was his turn. He kept his gaze on the ground. “And I’ve been killing for four years.”
“Four years?” scoffed Alice. She wanted to make her mark on the group, but it wasn’t acceptable to judge the other killers. We were all doing our best.
Alice hung around afterwards until Barry left. I hung around to clean away the coffee thermos and chairs, interested to see what she might do. She clearly still believed he had been ogling her, and I could tell what she was thinking.
I’d love to kill you.
But he just wasn’t her type.
If you liked this, I can recommend horror comedy Vicious Fun, which has a similar premise and very enjoyable. Or, if you prefer arty/highbrow films and don’t require entertainment, then check out the fantastic The Hours Of The Day, which I thought was fantastic.
