Hi all, possibly inspired by the (unsuccessful) attempt to unionise workers at a US-based Amazon warehouse, we’re going to dive right in and tackle the complexities of industrial relations. Don’t worry, it’ll be fun.
The witch listened to the villagers murmuring outside until it started to bother her. “Come in, if you’re coming!” she called. And then, because it was her job – and being a witch was a union gig, she could get in trouble – she cackled.
There was a long pause before they filed into her office in the woods. “Close the door behind you, you’re letting the magic out.” The green twisting smoke pushed past people’s faces as they came in, as if it had its own plans for the day. The witch tried a smile to put them at their ease. It turned into another cackle.
“It’s about the frog’s legs,” said the delegation’s spokesperson, a large fellow with dainty moustachios. He pointed around the office walls, which held countless small bags of supplies, each with a cardboard backing which had instructions printed on the reverse side. Frog’s legs filled a large majority of the bags: they were extremely popular. “It’s got to stop,” said the man, who she recognised from earlier union disputes. He was the leader of the French chef’s union. “There aren’t enough to go round, we need those legs, too.”
“Sorry,” said the witch. “I’m required to sell ‘em. Union rules.”
“What about us? Some of our newer members have barely seen frogs’ legs.” A number of fresh faced chefs, barely old enough for moustachios, nodded nervously but with passionately flushed cheeks.
“Maybe you can tell us where you get your frogs from,” said the man.
She leaned closer. “I make ‘em,” she cackled.
“You wouldn’t dare,” said the large man. “We’re all union members!”
“Course not” she said. “Just… pulling your legs.” And she laughed a proper laugh and her eyes twinkled.
The representative of the French chef’s union counted his members when they got back to the village. But he hadn’t counted before they left, so he wasn’t quite sure if someone was missing. “Right,” he said. “How about we concentrate on snails, no one is using them?”
See you next week!
Morgan
