Here’s another piece of 20 minute fiction. As usual the only changes are typo correction, punctuation changes and deletions.
Enjoy!
Laughter drifted up from the street. Men’s voices, a woman’s; a small group. The same group every night. Outside his hotel window. He breathed out. “Keep calm,” he told himself, heart thumping.
The stupid bray again. Loud. Ignorant. The curly-headed one. He talked and talked, and then laughed. His friends joined in, fattening the sound. Every night drinking and laughing.
He went to his window, pushed the thin pane open. Stared at them with dislike. Caught another buffet of the irritating noise. Felt the taste of coffee rise. He shouldn’t drink so much this late.
The young woman sat opposite the Horse. The one with the terrible, awful laugh. She looked up, caught him. He ducked back inside the room.
The hotel was expensive, the room small. With the view of rooftops, made famous by generations of cheap postcards. But if he couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t finish his report.
Again! That maddening laugh.
Was there anything he could do?
One thing perhaps. If he dared. He pulled his shirt on, it clung to his belly. Despite the evening air it was hot.
He went to the table.
They must have seen him coming, turned. He cleared his throat.
“Excuse me, please. Signori, signora,” he said. “Could I join you?”
“Please!” The Horse jumped up, cleared his seat. Indicated he should sit.
“We wondered when you would,” said Horse.
“I was working. A report…,” said Bill. Signora smiled at him. “…it can wait,” he said.
This one is based on a random first line prompt. I also wanted every line to have the same amount of words (7).
So this gives you a glimpse “behind the scenes.”
Most sentences are shorter as I deleted boring or irrelevant fluff, tightening the language. Even the original prompt got cut from 7 to 6 words. It originally ended with the word “…below,” which is neither interesting to end on, nor necessary as the words “up from” make it redundant.
A few sentences are longer. In a couple of cases I cut adjacent sentences to bits. It then made sense to get rid of a little bit more and make one sentence out of the remains. Insert “It’s alive! it’s alive!” film quote here.
The original prompt was “Laughter drifted up from the street below.”