Hi all, this week some tips on how to magically look better. Tip 1: read instructions carefully. Tip 2: don’t lose your head…
The Book said to lance the boil. But the Book said if he made a blood sacrifice he’d be taller. He was taller, but it had just stretched him, making him skinny, when his shoulders had been one of the things he liked about himself.
Still, he had a date with Shelley Summers tonight. Shelley Summers! He couldn’t turn up with gross spots on his neck.
He read the Book’s instructions carefully, watching for caveats hidden in the disturbing images of people lancing boils with machetes. The images were awful. At least he didn’t have spots there, though. It looked okay. There was no catch to this one. And if things went well, he’d distract Shelley from his weak shoulders by proving he didn’t have spots there.
The needle had lain in holy water, in view of the full moon, with foxglove petals crushed into it. He went over the spell: the words had to be right, and the pronunciation was tricky. He thought about what could go wrong and took his shirt off. It would be just like the Book to get rid of his boil, but have him greet Shelley – Shelley Summers! – In a pus- and blood-covered shirt. The tome contained powerful magic, but had a simple sense of humour.
He double checked everything again, took up the needle, and eyed it. When he touched the boil with it, the boil would disappear.
Simple, but after the last few spells he was nervous. If something could go wrong, it would. He put the needle down and wrote out the spell in large clear writing and stuck it up over the bathroom mirror. He hung his Tommy Hilfiger shirt back in the cupboard, where it couldn’t get splattered.
Everything was prepared. He picked up the needle, and took a deep breath, inched it slowly towards the boil.
He was nervous. Shelley would be here any minute. The needle moved closer.
The doorbell rang, and his hand slipped. He lanced his head.
