Move with the times, they said. Be more modern, they said. So I did. I am. This week’s post is a list. The internet loves lists!
You’ve messed up the picture, though. Or is that “modern,” too?
It’s upside-down on purpose. To make things seem weird and unsettling.
Do you think I’m going to turn my computer upside down, just so I can look at the picture the right way up?
Well. Just the monitor, perhaps?
Yeah, right!
You could read it on your phone with auto-rotate turned off. But it’s supposed to be upside down.
Read it on my phone? How the hell should I read it on my phone? Do phones have pictures over where you are? Over there in, in, in… in the future? Is it on the telly with the Jetsons you live, is it? Ha!
*Morgan turns to you and winks* Sounds like I’m not the only one who needs to move with the times, eh, reader?
1. Leprechauns are small, but heavy (leprechauns are small because they are heavy). Avoid passing under trees where a leprechaun might be intending to jump onto your back. Leprechauns are really heavy.
2. If you do catch a leprechaun, let him go as quickly as possible. They are radioactive.
3. Do not offer to dance with a leprechaun. Leprechauns love to dance. They will continue to do so, long after you have expired from exhaustion, twirling your battered body until your soul seeps out through the cuts in your skin. The leprechaun will then use it to form a piece of his gold.
4. Never date a leprechaun’s sister, never whistle at a leprechaun’s dog, never cross the road in front of a leprechaun. According to their code of honour, these things are punishable by death. The last thing you see will be a leprechaun sitting on your chest, crushing the life out of you. (Leprechauns are heavy.)
5. Leprechauns are composed of iron. Avoid carrying powerful magnets in densely populated areas.
6. Never use a leprechaun’s gold to bribe a banshee: it’s a con. They are all in it together, and you will only draw attention to yourself.
7. Avoid swimming after a leprechaun has been in the water: they leak and are noxious to humans.
8. Never touch a leprechaun’s hat. Like dogs, leprechauns seldom look up, so he will bite first and ask questions later.
9. Never enter a rainbow. Although they look pretty, you don’t know where it’s been, or who was in it last. Ask the leprechaun to move the pot of gold out of the rainbow before touching it.
10. Do not make love to a leprechaun. Their idea of love differs drastically from yours. (And if it doesn’t: they are very heavy.)
Diese 10 “Gebote”bereiten Angst und Schrecken!
Sind sie denn keine Wesen,die uns beschützen?
Aber die Lebrechaunts können auch böse sein und zerstören.
Deshalb ein Schälchen Milch aufstellen,dann soll er immer gut gesinnt sein!
Gut getroffen mit den fürchterlichen Eigenschaften -perfekt dargestellt.
Lieber den Kobold meiden-oder?
Die Welt von unten sehen;vielleicht ein Ausgleich zur realen Bewertung des Geschehens auf dieser Welt…..oder Kobolde einsetzen?
Danke Siggi. Mit den Leprechauns ist es genauso, wie mit Menschen: es gibt die guten…und die nicht so guten!